Let me tell you what I enjoy waking up to - a hot, rejuvenating cup of coffee. Let me tell you what I do not enjoy waking up to - my son chewing on the dog's bone. Guess which one I woke up to today?
God bless Al for getting up with the Insomniac at 5 am today. Please know that before I go on to my rant about dog bones being in children's mouths, that I do appreciate that he let me sleep in until 7:30 pm.
However I do not appreciate that he was more focused on cleaning up the kitchen than keeping an eye on our son. I know, I'm being an ungrateful biotch. I just said that my husband was cleaning up the kitchen so I should just shut my trap right now and forget about the fact that my 8 month old son's new favorite flavor is bacon, right?
I can't do it. The vision of my baby boy gnawing on a gnarled dog bone will not leave my head. So as I entered the kitchen, I notice Al wiping up the the stove with his back to the Insomniac. And there sits my little man gumming away at the dog's chewed up bone, drooling all over it, and suddenly smiling as he looks up and sees me enter the room.
I screamed, (and by screamed I mean I let loose a few choice words...my kid's first word might start with an "f" but I'll be damned if he's going to play with hand-me-down dog toys), and immediately took the bone out of his mouth. Al's response? "What, he's not going to die!" He had the nerve to be irritated with me for taking the bone that had sharp edges away from our son before he poked his eye out or blood started spurting from his mouth after he punctured his gums with one of the sharp, pointy, chewed up ends. And please don't get me started on the germs. I don't believe the BS that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's. I've smelled our dog's breath. Not. Possible.
Needless to say, it was not one of my favorite mornings, though I'm sure it will be one of my most memorable. I'm just hoping I wake up to coffee instead tomorrow.
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